i miss you.

i miss..
feferoni,
Lilt,
Jonoping,
Harry's/sliver,
my room on sodra strangatan,
my housemates in sodra strangatan,
hearing the swedish language,
speaking swedish,
spending my days with Helena,
drinking at the pier,
swedish "take your pick" lollie selection,
random weekday nights at Twin,
meeting new people,
feeling at home,
ICA,
the "ocean" lake,
riding emil's bike everywhere,
helena's coke addiction,
laughing at nothing till it hurts,
have a pressure free existance,
the late night sun,
helena,
evrything in my home, Sverige.

For all i leave behind.

The sun, the snow, the sea and the stars,
the moon is in tune with my golden guitar.
fuzzy edged memories still glint from afar,
and faint recognition distresses my heart.

The right, the wrong the ruins and rain,
we transform by the second and nothings the same
someone should warn you about all the change,
and offer you something to help ease the pain.

The wind, the world, the wary, the wild
when all of these moments are much more than mild
things no longer seen through the eyes of a child
and time is still passing me by all the while.

For every second i spend in your heart
for every time you've helped mine restart
i hate now knowing we will be apart
but i want you to know that i love you.

For every time that we watch the same moon,
for every time time that we hear the same tune
and every time that it makes you feel blue
try to remember I'll be seeing you soon.

Emil.

Today I am sad. really sad.

My maiden overseas voyage is coming to an end and thinking about it hurts so bad. I can't even listen to music without feeling depressed. Every song that plays has amazing memories and people tied to it and whilst these memories are happy i still end up longing for a replay of my recent past.

It is true that all good things must come to an end but i never thought it would happen so soon. I had great plans that will not follow through and this disappoints me to no end.

On top of it all i have to say goodbye to many amazing people who i may or may not see again. This weekend i stayed with my dear friend Emil who lives in a happy little place called Bollebygd. I met his wonderful family and was lucky enough to stay in their beautiful home. On Friday night we ventured out into Göteborg and met up with his friends Tobbie and Sara. We took it easy in the sweltering 28 degree heat and shared ciders and wine under the never ending Swedish summer sun.
On Saturday we drove into Göteborg yet again but this time to lay like cats on the rocky terrain parallel to the beautiful west coast harbour. We ate good food as we soaked up all the vitamin D that the sun had to offer and then headed back to the Stensio abode where we shared a delicious summer meal of grilled BBQ chicken and fruity salads.
Then came the time to part ways. First with the family i had only just met and then with my dear Emil who has now become such a huge part of my life. We sat at the buss stop and promised reunions which i have every intention of fulfilling. After tear filled goodbyes i headed back on the bus to where i am now. Lonely little Jönköping.

I was talking to my friend Laura about how when you grow up you have to deal with the fact that nothing is concrete anymore. after being so used to having consistency like parents and siblings it becomes hard to bear when people just walk in and out of the open doors of life. If only there was a way to keep everyone that you loved close by then maybe there would be a lesser sense of incompleteness and the temporary loneliness would be that much easier to deal with.

All i can say is thank god for airplanes. Emil i will see you again soon.